Purge Valve

Sometimes I just have alot of unrelated half formed thoughts cluttering my skull and committing them somewhere helps free up the space. I got a new phone. I'm not very good with it yet although I'm strongly suspicious that its smarter than I am. After purchasing it I stopped to get a few things at the grocery store or maybe hardware store. Anyway, the person at the register couldn't understand making change. Quick subtraction from one hundred was just beyond them. And it occurred to me it wasn't always like this. Not from a back in the good old days type perspective but more from the prospective that before we as a culture became so dependent on technology and gadgets even the people working menial jobs at the lower end of the employment or financial spectrum could do basic math in their head. I couldn't tell you the last time I encountered a cashier that didn't stop for a minute when giving them extra change so they could give me a round dollar figure back. How much of that has to do with the fact that its not required anymore. A machine can do it. This makes me sad. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I also hate self check out and miss the banter that usually comes with getting rung up by an actual human. Sometimes I just get the feeling that more and more, we're slowly being dehumanized. From little things like I just mentioned to relationship patterns among people only ten years younger than me. I get the feeling we're being reduced or made less as a culture in the ways that matter.

Also. I went to see a sunrise the other day. It was lovely and made the entire weekend seem that much longer. I also had one of my rare moments of good fortune where I take a really great picture. I keep looking at it and can't believe I took it. I'm also really easy to make happy so maybe its not all that great but I love it and I'll post it here. I had a whole laundry list of things I wanted to vomit up on to this page but Bass Ale has rendered the rest of it not all that important I guess. Anyway, the pictures up top. If your reading this I hope you have a great day.

This is a metaphor for something.

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Day Trips, History (personal and otherwise) and Time Travel

I went on a little day trip yesterday to St Augustine. Its beautiful there and everyone should go for a few days and check it out. I'm kind of a dork for history and love learning about and seeing it. It gives the various things you read and hear and watch a more personal flavor and a more human face to otherwise impersonal events. Having a beach nearby is the icing on an already delicious cake.

I hail from Virginia and grew up in the shadow of Thomas Jeffersons' Monticello outside of Charlottesville in a little hamlet called Fork Union. There's so much history there. I spent summers on a bike I took through everything as a kid and I'd find all kinds of cool stuff. Old slave graveyards. Abandoned fountains from the Daughters of Temperance. Old musket balls from long forgotten small skirmishes not listed in any history book. Lafayette maintained a manor and hunting lodge I cut the grass for as my first job as an early teenager in Bremo Bluff. All of this was before the internet and there was such a sense of magic to it all. Looking through various books and asking around to find out who might know what something was. Honestly a part of me misses the days before wiki. Books are undervalued today I think.

As a kid I took all of this for granted, that discovering all this cool stuff was what every kid does. I know what a blessing that kind of childhood was is in hindsight. Part of me wonders if feeling guilty for the lack of gratitude I had as a child for all the things I was given is part of what makes the adult grown child/parent relationship so awkward for me sometimes. You can tell them and you can pick up the bill when you go out with them and get them nice gifts for holidays but theres always the feeling you'll never be able to repay the amount of love a parent gives a child and all the things you took for granted.

Anyway all the previously mentioned stuff gave me a fascination with all things that came before. I always love strolling the downtown areas and historic districts of any old city. They all have their personal history that gives it its unique soul. The sense of morning in the air as your feet strike the cobblestones at 3 am in Richmond and you can feel the sadness of the confederate dead in the air around you. The residual dawning energy of the industrial age I feel walking around Chicago walking underneath metro rail lines for some reason. The way wrought iron balcony railings in the French Quarter ooze a kind of lazy sensuality that pools in the streets and comes up through your feet. The stark kind of utilitarian beauty you find roaming in port districts. All this probably sounds romantic. Being a guy I'm kind of lucky in that I don't have to worry like women have to about where they are as much. Looking half crazed and broke probably helps alot too. But these moments are the magic of history for me and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Its kinda like the sound of tugboats sounding off always reminds me of infinite possibilities for some reason I can't explain. But I fucking love it.

Anyway the cool thing is, years ago when I first started doing cabinets and furniture I was installing a library for some UN guy in DC. Between trips to the truck for tools and whatnot I stopped to smoke and found this cool looking coin in the parking lot. It looked like this and was a complete mystery to me. But it was an empty condo parking lot so I stuck it in my pocket and forgot about it until it was rattling around in the dryer. It was a Spanish piece of eight. Its probably a reproduction but I've never been able to part with it for some reason and it looks like this only mine is from 1745


The same crest on the obverse side of the coin can be found as flourishes on the old cannonades that line the walls of the Castillo San Marcos in St Augustine. You can see the compare and contrast picture on my flickr page ( if you scroll to the bottom of this page there should be a link) because I'm writing this with a passport drive and the picture isn't on this drive. Anyway I thought that was completely awesome. Time travel to and from random moments in your own lifetime is possible if you have the keys to it. Whether its an object, a photo, a song, a smell, a drink, anything can take you back. Its beautiful when it finds you and you aren't searching for it when your doing something new. Anyway this was all over the place and if you read it to the end the deserve a medal. Or at least a stiff mojito.

Updates, Letting Tomorrows kill today and growth

My thought always seem clearest sitting on a beach and I'm glad Valerie likes to go. Keeps me from getting homesick. So I'm sitting on a beach and spring is finally here and I finally found a job.

I was drinking coffee on the porch this morning watching squirrels and I remembered a scenario from a conversation a few years back. A buddy of mines neighbors wanted to retire early. They were a married couple and they both worked two jobs. They did this for twenty years, paid off their house and finally retired. My buddy sounded admiring about their situation. Three years later, me and my buddy were talking and he told me his neighbor (the husband) had died. Six months later the wife followed suite. What a tragic waste. I drink my coffee and close my eyes to feel the sun on my face.

I also want to share this. I read it earlier this week and its a neat little sufi parable on growth and perception.

The Bird and the Egg

Once upon a time, there was a bird that did not have the power of flight. Like a chicken, he walked upon the ground, although he knew that some birds did fly.

It so happened that through a combination of circumstances, the egg of a flying bird was incubated by a flightless one.

In due time the chick came forth, still with the potentiality of flight which he had always had, even from the time he was in the egg.

It spoke to its foster parent, saying, "When will I fly?" And the landbound bird said, "Persist in your attempts to fly just like the others."

For he did not know how to take the fledgling for its lesson in flying, even how to topple it from the nest so it might learn. And it is curious in a way that the young bird did not see this. His recognition of the situation was confused by the fact that he felt gratitude to the bird which had hatched him.

"Without this service," he said to himself, "surely I would still be in the egg?"

And again, sometimes he said to himself, "Anyone who can hatch me, surely he can teach me to fly. It must just be a matter of time, or of my own unaided efforts, or of some great wisdom. Yes, that is it. Suddenly one day I will be carried to the next stage by him who has brought me thus far."

Anyway. If your reading this still, enjoy your day. And find something in everyday to love because no one promised you tomorrow.
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Because Thats What Breakfast and Tom Waits Records are for

So I went and checked out Henry Rollins last night at the House of Blues here in Orlando. His spoken word stuff is an acquired taste but anyone that's even pretended to like punk music for more than a week knows who he is. I dig alot of his music and his spoken word is at least intelligent even if I don't always agree. Its like a long conversation over drinks with someone you know enough to not pull your punches, only they did too much speed and you can't get a word in edgewise. His negativity has always amused me but his view on human relationships and love in particular always made me pity him. I think old Henry has turned a corner recently. So my happy Friday thought will be what I left with last night. Say yes more. Whenever its even remotely doable. The more you start saying yes to things the more experiences and opportunities you'll have. You'll learn more. Maybe be more open to the idea that you don't know everything and the path you choose based on the experiences you've had to this point, don't always lead to the place you really want to go. For the occasions it doesn't work out... That's what Breakfast and Tom Waits albums are for (my favorite line from last night). We all see pain make people something they aren't. Maybe instead of watching them repeatedly beat themselves in the face with it, show them you can pole vault with it too.

Here's a little compare and contrast on cynicism in video form.

If your close to my age at all I think everyone has had at least one break up with someone where they played this song over and over. And yes people like this do exist. But so does the Dalai Lama. Its from some time in the mid 90's when he was doing solo stuff....



This one is a clip from this tour that I saw last night. Pack in everything that you can, this isn't a practice run.

Today and tomorrows

In the hopes that we all find a few flowers in our path now and again
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Spirits...Good... Bad... Random

Just a collection of links I've checked out recently. By some sick twisted logic reading up on current events in between job applications and resume submittals makes me feel slightly less like a piece of shit.

Economic Forecast for Central Florida by UCF
http://iec.ucf.edu/post/2010/03/03/US-Forecast-February-2010.aspx
Everyone's Favorite junky William S Burroughs
http://www.ubu.com/film/burroughs_movie.html
CATO institute on Marriage
http://www.cato-at-liberty.org/2010/03/03/marriage-private-and-public/
An article about raising a douchebag
http://www.details.com/sex-relationships/marriage-and-kids/200711/are-you-raising-a-douchebag

And if I can post it without screwing it up a song that runs on infinite repeat in my brain lately. I don't know what it is that makes me love this band so much.

Test Drive

This will be a general sounding board with thoughts, solutions, links, video or maybe just me bitching. It feels good to write and I haven't done it in a while. I like being able to post random things on twitter but would like a vehicle to expound or add to those thing. If you stumble on this, feel free to leave a comment because I would welcome them. But be aware that I really don't care if I amuse you or not.